How can you be scared of being happy you ask? Well, when various fears and wants are constantly on your brain and low and behold something positive sweeps down and brightens your life, you might think, "Wait huh, is this for me?" For instance, in the last couple of weeks I've published an awesome article about Black ballerinas of the past for Soul Train, finally narrowed down my thesis topic for school, changed my daily schedule into a big deal so that it keeps me busy and sane, plus started and completed TWO sewing projects I assigned to myself. It has been small things, but they're big to me. Just the other day a woman commented on my hair color at a cafe', she told me it looked great on me! Things like that make me smile, totally unexpected things makes me smile like, four little kids that I signaled to cross the street while I was driving today and they said in unison, "Thank you!" THAT made me smile. What I am learning is that my own happiness has been initiated by me. It's not anything someone handed to me or magically granted a wish for me I have begun the transformation because I needed to. So in honor of congratulating myself, here are some of the things I am proud of that have made me smile the last two weeks.
Chef-boy-r-ME
Lately I've been trying to try out more cooking recipes that I come across. I'm not much of a cook, (though I make some delicious pancakes) visiting the kitchen isn't a major strand in my DNA. However like making pancakes when I want something particular I usually attempt to make it. So, I found a recipe for cinnamon-sugar donuts and guess what I made them! I had my ingredients prepared, classic R&B playing in my earphones and viola I completed the quick snack.
I'm just a sewing machine!
I hadn't used my sewing machine since graduating college three years ago, I hadn't had much time prior to now to really focus on making anything. I had been a fabric maverick starting in high school and it carried over to college when I had free time to make a garment or two. This time around I wanted new curtains for my bedroom, I found a beautiful printed fabric with a reddish brown background with gold leaves designed all over the fabric. Within 2 days I sewed my curtain and it now hangs famously against my window. My next project, pajama pants, I'll be finished them by the end of the week!
Published
As I mentioned my article appeared on the website of Soul Train. I was thrilled to see my work, and though I've had a few pieces published at other magazines and newspapers, this piece was special to me. As a dancer I wondered a lot about Black female dancers who have built the foundation for many. There untold stories touched me and I wanted to share it, I am thankful to have had the opportunity to spread a part of dance history to the masses.
Time Quest
Last week I was given a great gift, my thesis advisor acknowledged the progress I am making and she wanted me to begin a more structured schedule for myself. I've never been one to stick to a planner let alone use one. How did I survive college without really using one! I usually depend on my own memory or storing reminders on my cellphone. But that doesn't always work if you forget what your plans were for the day or if the alarm goes off and you hit "dismiss." Now I write out my schedule the night before, I jot down the main tasks that are a priority. I have been writing 2 hours a day and trying to give myself more room to achieve my tasks. And while not every single item since this past Monday has been checked off I still feel impressed by my ability to structure my day better. I can say that by the end of a given dayso far maybe only one or two items went unfinished. Though I cannot worry about that, I just want to stick to a cohesive schedule, and of course have time for me.
What have you done lately that you're proud of? Congratulate yourself, it'll make you feel happy and of course....there's a healthy heart.
*Lish
E&E